Are my decisions a sign of my laziness?

The decisions that I am making,are they,a sign of my laziness?Is working towards the future by not being part of the rat-race procrastination?Results and career options are at the back of everyone’s mind…But do I not want to do anything with my life and provide my parents the satisfaction the way others are providing?Am i too shallow, or is my thinking a little laid back for others?The answer is not this,nor that.I think its all combined..I think of a career where only personal satisfaction can render you actual happiness..Otherwise it is worthless…I may not maintain a strict time tied routine of life,or a grim expression on my face and many a times being called confused,immature or less of an opportunist;but being a simple girl even I want my Parents to feel as proud of me as any other set of parents may want to feel of their off-springs….But in ‘our’ way… where we value careers more than just jobs..may be our satisfaction will not render as much money,may be it  will take a toll on our patience,a greater hold of our time,but it will be not just a satisfaction,but  ‘Contentment’…After all, its our parents whom I,we have to answer and not to anyone else’s….many youngsters feel the same tumultuous ride  inside their hearts.Does that mean they care less?Or are they insensitive,passive,plain lazy?No!It means they value knowledge,the ardor put in, and the quest for answers more than the answers! It means they care in their own respective way.

May be the above is reason  enough to lighten up fellow others out of the competition trauma…so that the enjoy achievements first and success along with it .And with that,I have got the answer to my question towards the end.

 

 

 

 

 

(want to make it an insightful reading)

 

Willing to change the unchanged

It is a very difficult situation that we are going through (and by ‘we’ I mean, people from Kolkata). We are like the film that could have always been remade into better. There is not much of a change that has been noticed here by so many people. There is also a big regret that nothing has been done by the hand writing this too. Things could always become better. How wishfully I say this evytime I walk past the roads and streets!

What kind of special trying do I need to, to make Kolkata half the special city I have always dreamed it to be?Is it the leader?The attitude?The people?The fish?The what?!

It being stuck over by rot every passing day. How? Many sessions, many thoughts organised to look through the matters. Many heavy discussions weighed upon. But, why we refrain from the word, ‘Implementation’?

My grandfather died, hoping the Kolkata to see the once glorious days. The once culturally rich,historically famous Kolkata-which it so was in 1947,keep forgetting that it’s not 1947 anymore?Whom to inject the willingness in?How to?Yes, it’s not easy. It would not happen overnight. But tierd of looking for the small steps. Tried of trying to be ‘just the small steps’ . So many books to inspiration, so many people to look up to, trapped in a place which is rotting…day by day.

What is the answer- Politics?Journalism?Or just plain settling in some other corner of the country India and criticising it with every news feature and discussion?

Towards the end, I want to articulate my personal feeling.I want to do it for Kolkata as much as I want to do it for myself. In some years I do not want to be the kind of ‘guest’ at some show discussing why is still there no change and what it  lacks and why it lacks!

The Questions

Is it really that easy to be average?Is it that easy to be young and in love and be out of it?Why are the questions rhetorical at times?Is it possible to ever to uproot everything and start dreaming about something afresh?What is the guarantee that the previous dream’s fragments can be excluded ?Why is inspiration too difficult to choose?Why is it always easy to go through the article rather than making an effort to write?

There are mixed reviews. And there are mixed answers. There are judgements to be made,points to be contradicted. There is an altogether different truth to be discovered. And may be then these questions will seem futile.What then holds us back most of the times?
Love or fear?Does fear rise from love? Or love from fear?Why is never fear confused with anything else?Do I even know what I am writing in my kind of social blog?And why am I asking so many questions? Will I even like anybody’s answers? why are the answers so important?Why is not the chase to look for these answers given that importance?And, why don’t I want, answers?

Not everything is for an autobiography.Not everything is immature.And nothing definitely happens just like that.

Being a middle class girl!

 

The other day, me, along with some of my friends were sharing views on a thought when someone came up this line, ‘being a girl is still difficult”. And I went ahead with thinking about it. So, was being a girl really difficult?

On thinking about it I discovered that girls are a blessed lot. We are blessed with good hair quality, good body smell, better hormones, we also get reserved seats in the parliament and buses. Yes we do. And emotionally speaking too, we connect with people in our lives very well. We help our mothers, support our fathers, take care of our siblings, solve problems for our friends and many a times, take steps forward even in opposite directions to help people connected to us. At times we go beyond the expected and then again remind ourselves to keep a level head and have a strong heart and return back to our own lives and duties. We bring elegance into homes and charms into other people lives. And to us, we bring a lot of dreams as soon as we step in the world and start realizing truths about them fast. We girls mature faster,is a well known fact. And now I know it is not just only physically, but emotionally.

We love our fathers. They are our hero from the very beginning. There is no problem in the world that my ‘papa’ can not solve. But, as age starts advancing, and we start knowing things, we steadily understand that no, Papa is still the best but he is not the hero. He is the responsible man who has been looking after me from a very long time without even complaining. Mother too, uses her tough hand only to prepare me for the world and reminding me everyday that One day, I too have to take care of someone like that.And can you tell me, what girls have these realisations?Its the middle class girls!

I am sorry to be prejudiced here. But I really think that its the middle class girls who know it from the very beginning why Papa works so late. They know why coming first in the class is so important to them. They know why Parents boast only about the good results and never about the extra ordinary dance steps I perform when, they are only the ones who enrolled them into the class in the first place. They are the ones who have the larger than life high ambitions with a perfect plan to fulfill them. They are the ones who have lack of choices. They have to build up a life as good as their Parents have provided them with keeping in mind everybody’s well being. They are calculative yet fall short of choices. They simply can not afford to miss out on basic education. They might very well be pampered but they are not spoilt. I now know, the answer to my friend’s doubt. Being a girl is not difficult. Being a middle class girl, well it is.Yet,they laugh ,they cry,they worry and they celebrate…..and YOU know what! All for the right reasons. Like it or not, for a change try being a middle class girl(for those who are not!, no offense!). And for the ones who are….. this one, was for all of you.!

Dreams……

Why do dreams seem so impossible to come true at times?We, were wishful and full heated towards it, yet why does it seem so difficult to come true at times?

Many restrictions come in the way of the road to our dreams. We thrive through everything and keep the confidence burning inside us,that no matter what the situations succumb to, its my dream. We cheat, we sabotage relationships. All for, the dreams. The higher the ambition, the larger than life the dreams are. We argue, we fight, we try to keep ourselves upright, for our dreams.

And, we also have the share of losses in the purpose of fulfilling our dreams. Because dreams are, so different from reality. Are we at faults to see such impossible dreams?Or are the dreams supposed to be, just dreams?

Pity!

Yes. Now I know how to exactly pity someone. Its the elegant Speaker of the Lok Sabha, of the Indian parliament,Meira Kumar. This lady deserves all my attention. She sits herself on a high chair in an area busier than the Railway station;The Parliament! There is one fantastic fact,she is the Speaker of the Lok Sabha,except for the fact that she exact opposite of a speaker! oh please do not take me as a novice immature writer who does not know the work of a speaker;(have been a student of political science!). So,on a lighter note,when I see her summoning the sessions, I see her uttering these only words “aap please baith jaiye” ,”please sit down” , ” sit down please “. The order changes,the language changes but these words remain intact!

The other day I showed my kid brother a live session from the Parliament on Lok Sabha tv, and asked her if the same thing happened inside his classroom and the teacher reacted like that. To which,the six year old replied that in our class we sit down, these guys are not! Very worth smiling,at least according to what a six year old said. However, coming back to the pity feeling towards Meira Kumar,she being amongst a very few IFS(Indian Foreign Services) officer, was chosen to be in charge of such behavior which is nothing in short of a mayhem.Their is an advertisement from ‘The Hindu’ which very shows how a country having a non-violent leader in the history resorting to such juvenile, inappropriate and in a way violent ways. Such behavior from a place which consists very educated people. Gone are the times when  MPs were accused of being ill-literate and running the states. Though many places fall short of educated leaders, but the upcoming  MPs or even some aged experienced ones show that India could have a bright future just as theirs.however, we Indians have to get over the fact of giving importance to volume rather than content . We think that being ‘loud’ (behavior and voice) provide for a impact that we ever wish to establish. Many impact are established even in silences!

I am not suggesting sign language to be introduced amongst our very healthy  MPs, I suggest a decorum,and less pity towards the Speaker.

Changing times?Really?

Related to the article read in Times Life,a supplementary to the Times of India.Times changing may be.Men are allowing the women to work at full hours in the corporate fields and attending on household duties themselves.Many marriage counselors have come in favor of it saying that when take time off from the hectic work life of theirs and indulge in pursuit of hobbies etc.,they bring a certain tenderness to the household which satisfies women much more.Lot of people spoke in favor of it,and it is very well observed.It is a much more respectable promotion to the stigmas attached to women.Very welcoming,allows women to be the individuals at par.

However,society wise speaking and India wise speaking,our mentality is what we term ‘Indian’. No matter how many marriage counselors come forward and speak in favor of it,we cannot deny that the majority of the population residing in villages,small towns and even metros would perhaps never agree to go ahead with that step.The society thankfully has progressed enough to let women educate themselves at liberty and even step in further careers .Yet,this only population would not welcome the ideas of letting men take care of the household as a female.(kINDLY DO NOT TAKE ME HAVING BACKWARD VIEWS)

I would be more than happy to carry on with the career that I have in my mind of that  as a Journalist. As a career it is very demanding in terms of time,priorities and many other things about which in case if I mention,my mother would get sleepless nights and sore up her blood pressure.Yet,psychologically and old fashionably saying,it is actually impossible for a man to verge from work,even for some time. More than hurting the ego,it actually does not become of a man to even slightly keep off the work.Taking time out is different and much sober and easier;but frankly speaking,it would only take a drunk man to let his wife slog and him preparing menu for the night!

 

 

(No offense!)